In the spirit of Best Friends Day, (next Saturday the 8th of June!), I thought I would share my experience with friendship… particularly the transition from high school to ‘the real world’.
But first… a discount code! If you follow me on IG, you’ll know that I am always on the lookout for a bargain. The lovely ladies over at Kellective by Nikki are giving you and your BFF 10% of their ‘Friendship’ necklaces in celebration of Best Friends Day. Use the code “bestfriendday”.
The lovely Catherine from V And Me Customer Designs is also doing a special bff discount… enjoy!
I’ll start with some background. In high school I had a ‘core’ group of five (including me) friends.
But I also had two of my best friends at school that were not in that circle, and my other BFF who didn’t go to my school.
Catching up beyond the schoolyard was difficult enough in Year 12.
We had to juggle part time jobs, school work, family, sport and other priorities. Life was busy.
Even at school, we often had clubs/events/meetings/study at lunchtime which meant that we weren’t really ‘catching up’ at school either. Sometimes, we even scheduled a catch up at lunch!! We all knew to keep our diaries clear for that one day.
Nonetheless, we were seeing each other every single school day.
Honestly, as of the last day of school… all of that changed.
It is even harder to catch up now because we all have different schedules, and priorities.
That has been a significant lesson I’ve learnt this year- priorities.
I was experiencing a huge shift in my own priorities, and meanwhile, as were my friends. But understanding this is still a struggle to me. I like to think of the saying, ‘we often judge the person, not the situation.’ It helps me find perspective on a lot of things.
We truly have had only a handful of catch-ups since school finished. It’s been over six months.
I have found peace in believing this: they were my friends for that chapter of my life- my high school friends. I am extremely grateful to have had them for that.
They are my still my friends in this chapter of life, but at a different capacity. And that’s okay. It’s normal.
One of my high school teachers told me that she booked a dinner with her friends six months in advance so that they could all coordinate to be together. That’s friendship.
And when I think of the love languages, I definitely respond best to words of affirmation. I want to be appreciated for my effort. Because friendship does take effort. It’s a two way street.
I’m not too sure what my point here is.
My core group of friends and I have two events coming up that we will all be together; a birthday and a weekend away. It took a lot of planning- purely because there is larger number of us.
Organising with my other friends isn’t as tricky because there is simply less of us to coordinate. But my friendship with them is different too. I see them as my adult friends, not just my high school friends.
I think I have experienced a certain sense of loss with my high school friends.
But I am grateful for what were, what they are and what they will be.
I guess I want to say, if you are in this situation, you are not alone, and what you’re feeling is valid.
There is so much more to post high school life than your new path of education. That’s what they don’t tell us.
I know I definitely would have appreciated a warning about the shock of adjusting to our new life.
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